24 June 2018

After staring at where I keep my laptop for around 20 minutes, then turning it on and staring at Blogger for a good solid half an hour trying to think of what to write about to get me back into Blogging, I decided to do a bit of an honest chatty post about why my blog almost came to a standstill recently.

It's not that I didn't have ideas that I wanted to write about, it's bringing myself to write them. In the past month or so I've published just one single post on my blog and I have been riddled with guilt about it all, I mean, I was doing well despite a few blips of inspiration. I started collaborating with brands that I love (including Boohoo which was a little 'pinch me' moment) and I was really proud of the content I was creating. But sometimes, that isn't quite enough. Not in an ungrateful way though, I am very grateful to have had the opportunities that I have, from blogging. It's just social media isn't the full view of what a persons life is like.

The main reason I've been struggling to blog is my mental health took a turn for the worse, to put it bluntly, I was struggling. I was getting through the day by pretending I was happy and putting out posts on social medias that were very deceiving that didn't give off any clues as to what was going on inside my mind. The mind is a very powerful thing and the fact that your own mind can make you go through hell and back is crazy but this is the harsh reality with having anxiety, depression and other mental health problems too. I went months just trying to stay afloat, ignoring doctors telling me to take a break, I just kept going because I didn't want the people around me to struggle at my expense, especially work.

A million and one things run through my mind, but it feels completely blank and this is the biggest reason why I haven't blogged so much recently. I couldn't piece a sentence together without questioning and harshly criticising everything I'm saying. However, I finally got my butt to the doctors after having a little bit of a breakdown and I made the decision to take a break from work, with advice from the doctor and medication alongside it I aim to make progress to get back to being more 'me'. At least I've managed to get some words down for blog posts too.

I have been experimenting more fashion-wise lately and I have so many outfits that I want to shoot and put out there on Sister Of The Moon, I have mental notes of what items I would pair with each other, what accessories I will style with them, even down to shoes too. When I am having an okay mental health day, the next reason I have been struggling to blog comes in, I haven't had the time to shoot outfits! As you all may know, my sister is my blog photographer and she does an amazing job, but with us both working a lot and commuting to work, we never really have days off together so my blog sort of got put to the side.

The frustration of jotting down ideas to write about but never being able to actually get the words out sucks. I've simply been either too mentally exhausted or I just haven't have the time. I have vowed to try and spare a little time every now and again just to write a blog post, or go out and shoot photographs ready for when I can have a bit of a word vomit on my blog, so hopefully I can get back into the swing of things, one step at a time.


All photographs taken by www.rwalkerphoto.blogspot.co.uk

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